INTERDISCIPLINARY ARTIST
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My intention with making this is to confront people with thoughts about how much who they are is shaped by the influence of other people, and the impact being authentically yourself has on yourself and those around you. I titled this piece "Honesty" because while I feel being yourself requires a level of internal and external honesty, I also wanted to show real moments and opinions from people who watched me grow and change. Taking audio clips from interviews with my mom and grandma, I created an experimental video art piece that explores these themes.
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My artistic exploration began with three fundamental questions about identity: What does it mean to be yourself in current society? How does society affect your identity and the way you present yourself? How does your self-expression impact society and the perception of yourself? These questions guided my investigation into the intersection of being Black, African American, and feminine through sound and video art.
The project's foundation emerged from considering how different aspects of identity could be represented through audiovisual elements. I was particularly drawn to the idea of using projection and mapping techniques to explore how we both project our identity outward and absorb external perceptions that shape who we are.
The project took an unexpected but profound turn when I decided to interview my mother and grandmother, each conversation lasting 30-50 minutes. These interviews fundamentally shifted the project's trajectory. Both spoke about the same pivotal moment - when I came out - but with starkly different reactions. This contrast perfectly addressed my core questions about society's impact on identity and how self-expression affects others' perceptions.
Working with these intimate conversations, I made the conscious choice to create a meditation-like soundscape, drawing inspiration from the experimental sound artist "African American Sounds." I found power in the juxtaposition between the calming, zen-like atmosphere and the mix of affirming and challenging words about identity.
The visual composition centered on three main elements, each carefully chosen for its symbolic significance:
- Audio-reactive circles represent my mother and grandmother's voices through volume mapping. The circles' dynamic color changes suggest the breathing, living nature of our relationships and the evolution of feelings over time.
- A glowing silhouette, inspired by Ivan Pokidyshev's vulnerable figure paintings, shows multiple versions of myself swaying back and forth. This multiplication represents the intersectionality of my identities - gender, sexuality, and race - while also symbolizing how others' words can create both certainty and uncertainty in our self-perception.
- The sound design layers interview clips with ambient tracks, creating a complex audiovisual dialogue about identity and acceptance.
During development, I faced several technical hurdles, particularly with After Effects implementation. When the initial silhouette effect proved too bright against the muted background, I experimented with different approaches until finding a more cohesive visual solution. This process of technical problem-solving led to discoveries that actually enhanced the project's conceptual depth.
The final piece creates an immersive experience that explores the complex dynamics between personal identity and family relationships. The juxtaposition of calming soundscapes with contrasting perspectives on identity creates a space for reflection on how we navigate self-expression within family and societal contexts.
This project reveals how technical choices in sound and video art can powerfully express the nuanced experience of intersectional identity. Each element - from the breathing circles to the multiplied silhouettes - contributes to a larger narrative about identity formation and family dynamics. The work demonstrates that sometimes the most profound artistic discoveries come from embracing unexpected directions, as shown by how the family interviews transformed the project's scope and meaning.